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POETRY
Rasta Gnawi
boston, ma Massachusetts USA
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3
comments.
desert nights
10:23:11 AM Friday Aug 26, 2005




I started writing this years ago but got annoyed that I could not make the first two verses rhyme, so I almost gave up on it. The visual I had was that of a small group of men who got together by chance in this old ruin in the desert. Each had a story that brought him to the ruins at that specific time. They bond, fight, quarel, celebrate, then realize they have to decide whether to fight destiny and hang together or go their separate ways when the time comes.

The original had about 10 verses that I wrote in Marakesh 3 years ago (I took my mom and aunt there for a quick trip during a summer vacation.) The poem was shaping up to be a miserable feat of rhyme against story. It was depressing to me.

I will pick up work on it, but wanted to preserve whatever remains of the original.

More later, I hope.

Amine


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10:43 pm    August 26, 2005

hudhud message
3
I feel that part of the beauty of free verse is that you can create internal rhyme and use other techniques like alliteration, assonance, consonance, dissonance, strong imagery without necessarily having to follow rules of meter and rhyme in a strict way.. so the pattern can be a bit less rigid, but the wording still must be musical, imaginative, alluring to the ear..

of course the reality is that 'free' verse still requires a certain level of perfection, to keep the readers' interest and meet high literary standards. in the words of T. S. Eliot : "No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job."

it's refreshing to come across poets who can use both strict patterns of rhyme and meter in a beautiful creative way, but also be flexible and come up with equally attractive free verse poetry, and further still-- combine techniques of both styles in a single piece. now that is great talent..

·

7:21 pm    August 26, 2005

Adnane Ben. message
2
1
But poetry that rhymes is attractive and more powerfull.. in my opinion. If I'm reading poetry that doesn't rhyme either in english, french or arabic, I quickly lose the poet's intention. Sometimes the poetry seems like it doesn't rhyme, but the poet composed it in a way that it does actually rhyme.. and only those who are technicians in reading poetry can figure out the hidden rhymes.. others like myself will for sure abuse it.
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5:43 pm    August 26, 2005

hudhud message
1
you have the visual, the story, a strong idea.. don't let it go, but don't force it either.. let it "bake" a few days, then come back to it with a fresh mind :-)
personally i love arabic poetry and used to *try* writing some, but i love the english style of free verse and blank verse, where i can weave images with words but not have to worry about rhyme or meter..
·

Rasta Gnawi's notes (63)
 
2012
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2010
Mercy..
 
2009
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2008
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Doucement :)..
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2007
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2006
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old fiction..
MS Mess..
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old paintings..
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2005
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recipe..
badi3..
a pause from madness..
garden..
desert nights..
brain freeze..
organized tours..
passport on vacation..
good attire..
Hot day..
 
2002
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Econ - Biz - What's The Pulse..


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