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Adnane Ben.
Boston USA
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How to diagnose a healthy relationship
12:00:00 AM Sunday Jan 4, 2004

Like your body, your relationships need periodical checkups. You may not need to go to a counselor, you can do it yourself. But what vital signs can you check for in order to pronounce your relationships healthy or ill? an article I came through in enumerated 5 checkpoints as follows:

1. Check your pulse.
2. Take a nice, deep breath.
3. Test your reflexes.
4. Tickle your funny bone.
5. Bend over and touch your toes.

It sounds like a physical exam, but I invite you to read the full article to understand what each checkpoint actually means. When you come back, share with us your opinions, and what are the symptoms of health and illness when it comes to love?

The content of this page —graphics, text and other elements—is © Copyright 2007 prospective author, and Raioo, Inc., only when stated otherwise, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher.

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9:43 am    July 4, 2005

In all religions of the books, it is not "ok for girls or Boys to have sex before marriage". This is called fornication. And fornicators "boys and girls!" need to repent for commiting such a big crime against Allah.
here is a few ahadith:

The Holy Prophet [s] said: "It is written in the Turah: 'I am Allah, the killer of murderers and distractor of fornicators."

Imam Sadiq [a] said: "There are six effects for a fornicator, three of which are in this world and the other three will be in the next world. Those that occur in this world are: taking the honour of the person and defaming the one; causing the one to become poor; and shortening the length of life, (i.e. hastening one's death). Then, those which will be in the Hereafter are: the wrath of Allah, graveness in Reckoning, and residing in Fire eternally."

this should not scare you, because Allah forgives those who repent and dont do the sin again!!! if you want to know the steps of repentence let me know i can give you some information.

So please sisters and borther, if you see youself going to commit such an evil act fornication, I am sure you can do better than that, just go and get married!!!!!



9:27 am    July 4, 2005
Try to make him feel good about himself, at the same time tell him that you want to join the gym and tell him to go with you. Make sure he is eating proparely, and get him into a good diet without him noticing anything. Stop drinking soda/ juices at home, give him water and green tea all the time..
Just make him feel good and tell him that"well yeah you propably dont have the best body, but you are my sexy man and I like you the way you are....."
:) good luck!

9:21 am    July 4, 2005
Salaam Alaykum,

Adnane, the subject you chose is a very important one. The article covers a few of the many important things that diagnose a healthy relatioship.

First of all, lets try to understand what is a healthy relationship. In my opinion, it is not a relationship that does not have any argument and where the couple is hanging out to have fun and waste time. But a healthy relationship is the one where the couple have an understanding of their rights and responsibilities towards each other, respect each other and cherish each other's company, not on doing all the Haram things; (like going to clubs,,,,,,ect I am sure everyone knows whats haram from whats halal!); But on helping each other worship Allah, and becoming better persons for the sake of God, the one make the married couple love each other, and keep them happy on the right truck if they choose to follow that path. If not then they will surely start struggling at first between themselves and then with their progeny.

Remember the real goal from getting married is not to have fun, it is to protect yourself from doing haram things, things such as fornication, gaze........those things that can take us to hell!!!!!!

The Qur'an says:

"Among His signs is (the fact) that He has created spouses for you from among yourselves so that you may console yourselves with them. He has planted
love and mercy between you; in that are signs for people who reflect" (30:21)

This is a very important definition of the relationship between man and wife. They are expected to find tranquility in each other's company and by "love and mercy". Such a description comprises mutual care, consideration, respect and affection. All of these will help the couple to live a healthy happy long life on the righteous path of those whom Allah has favored like our prophet s.a.w and his progeny.

Because we need to protect ourselves from following the path of shaytan, it is important to make sure to choose the right partner, the ones who will help us to be faithful to our religion.

The Qur'an refers to wives generally in another chapter saying:

"They are garments for you while you are garments for them" (2:187).

In other words, as a garment gives warmth, protection and decency, so a husband and wife offer each other intimacy, comfort and protection from committing fornication or adultery or other satanic acts. just like when you go shopping for a garment, you dont choose the one that has the best look, you will probably check if it is warm enough to protect you from the cold as well. it is almost the same concept when choosing a spouse.

It follows from what has been quoted from the Qur'an that one of the important aims of Islamic regulations governing behavior and human relations is the preservation of the family unit in such a way that the atmosphere of tranquility, love and mercy and consciousness of Allah can develop and flower to the benefit of husband and wife, and also of the children of the marriage.

Therefore in examining the conduct expected of men and women towards each other, both inside and outside marriage,we have to bear in mind these aims and weigh their benefits to the individual and to society. We must also bear in mind that Islam has a coherent view of life, and that the various aspects of it should not be considered in isolation from each other. It comprises a TOTAL way of life, and each part of it needs to be seen in the total context.

The reason I am telling you this is because life is short and games and plays will not protect us from hell, but the good deeds we do towards FIRST Allah, then our parents and then our spouses.

so please if you are married and have a problem in your small house, go to your wife or husband, tell him/her you are sorry, hug him/her. and try to live your life in the right path. You will surely be Happy.

You all take care



7:39 am    June 30, 2005

Adnane Ben. message
maybe you can tell him you like him chubby :) and when coupled with his personality, it turns you on.

7:23 am    June 30, 2005
I guess the fact that he was "chubby" as a kid and teenager afected him a lot.
Thanks for the advice.

6:49 am    June 30, 2005
Amani, just tell him that u don't care about what he looks like.
In case he still have this fear, tell him to go to a gym club, and every time he come back from the gym, tell him that he's gettin a nice body & so on, it's like a psychological treatment. so he'll end up by having faith in himself!

11:51 am    June 29, 2005
If your partner tells you that he doesn't feel good about his physical looks and is annoyed and embarrest to lets say take off his shirt in front of you, should you tell him that you love just the way he is? you love him no matter what he looks like?just stay quiet?agree with him but tell he just needs to keep working out?
What do you guys think?I don't care what he looks like but he just doesn't feel comfortable with me "w/ his shirt off" at anytime and we live together.

9:42 pm    May 18, 2005

10:11 am    May 7, 2005
I am surprised not many responses are here, and it's a nice subject, I read the article, and I have some additional ideas.
I think the environement where the couple lives make it much easier to have a healthy relationship, from my personal experience, living in country like hell like this one is not a good factor, but we do our best me and my husband to stay happy, I mean not being able to go see a movie, or go to a mall, or at least for a walk is not normal, can you imagine living under such conditions and try to keep your relationship healthy; difficult no? but what we do is we cook together, we watch funny movies at home, we play games at the playstation, we play many social games like monopoly, 30seconds etc...My point is that doing activities together is one important thing to feed the relationship, and being in a place that provides such possible activities is great, but with real strong love, you can feed your relationship from within and be happy!
If you keep fighting, then you need to take a break and think, if it's for silly reasons?it's not too bad, all couples have thier silly arguments, but never let an argument last, immediately go to different room, take a deep breath and remember that the person in the other room is the love of your life and everything will seem better.
If you are in bad mood or had a bad day talk to him/her about it, you will feel much better, being in bad mood and making the loved ones pay for it is not fair...there is a lot to do to spice up the relashionship and keep it healthier, it's the small things that makes a difference, you dont need to work hard for it, very easy just open your heart to love and remembver that life is too short to waste it on arguing or being mad at each other.
P.S: this can open another discussion about how can you make her/him happy with little things?


4:15 am    April 30, 2005
hi can i meet u

10:21 am    April 10, 2005

10:20 am    April 10, 2005

5:22 pm    April 5, 2005
does any body think for muslims girls can have sex before they get married. is it wrong or right.

8:51 pm    December 18, 2004
I really enjoyed reading this article and I think it summarizes the main points that bring you back to your partner and hold you tight to him/or her. If you are down , he or she should your first source. The partner should make you FEEL GOOD about yourself, and the most important thing you should be able to LAUGH together.

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